:: Don't Eat The Yellow Snow: Fiction ::

:: Sunday, November 21, 2004 ::

I have decided in my infinite wisdom to link some of my writing up here.

For those who don't know, sometimes when I am bored, drunk, or grasped in the throes of insomnia, I write to relieve stress or be creative. Other times, I feel strengths of emotions that I just have to get down on paper before I lose them. Enjoy reading them if you are into that thing. Tell your friends.

I guess they are all short stories. Some are more like journal entries of events in my personal life that I had to write down to get my head around them.

Before each I will give you a little info about it. Maybe what inspired it, the time when I wrote it, and any other information I can give.

Think of it as a rebuttal for an angry question never asked.

Please, remember that I am not a professional writer, and most of these were done in the hours between 1am and 5am, thus there are bound to be spelling errors, punctuation errors, sentences that don't make sense etc.

So sue me. I edited them as best I could. None of them are perfectly polished or ripe for publishing.

Also, it should be noted that a lot of these deal with reasonably depressing subjects (I think!) I don't think of myself as a depressing person, I just theorise that if I am feeling happy, I will go out and be happy, it's when I am depressed and alone and probably drunk that I feel the need to write, thus the darker undercurrents. I guess you could link some of the protagonists to me. I mean, as the writer, who better to base writing on than the person I know best?

I also seem to deal with the idea of love a lot. What's with that?

There hasn't been much short story writing this year, possibly because I have been using music as a creative outlet and have been quasi-writing songs instead of writing stories. Maybe I will be struck by inspiration once exams are done again.

Anyhow, enjoy! Any feedback can be addressed to me via email (the mail link or directly to njlucas00@hotmail.com) or via tag boarding, or you know, talking to me directly. I would actually like to know what some of you think.

Also, If there is anyone out there who reads and wants their work read, I would only be too happy to post it up here. Emails to the addy above, along with your details so I can properly credit you.

Check back for updates as new writing comes in.

What I am going to do now:

Each of these initial bits of fiction are my own work, I'm going to stick the little disclaimer up on this page, as well as on the pages of the actual work.

By the way: blah blah blah Copyright, blah blah, Own work, blah, blah, Don't steal from me blah blah plagarism is wrong, yadda yadda, Will break your knuckles with a ballpeen hammer etc etc Dwarves with AK-47's blowing out your kneecaps from behind, blah blah. Never walk again, so on so on, Electroshock therapy to sensitive body parts, etc etc, searing pain.

Do we understand each other?

Insomnia:

April 2003-ish.

I was just going through senior year and things were starting to get stressful. It was borne of pure insomnia on what I think was a Wednesday night, as I sat up and bashed the keyboard until the sun came up. I think initially I wrote it just to get things straight in my own head, then later, ran back with a bit of artistic licence and tidied the whole thing up so it was more appropriate for this format. I think I posted this in an actual blog entry some time before, but I think it now deserves a proper home. Here it is.

Fate:

June -August 2003.

I am consistently not happy with this. Every time I read it I go back and change things, add things and take things out. There are two endings, only one of which I will give you. The other I tacked on the end and I think that it made it somewhat sappy, (or sappier if you are into that kind of thing). I think I just liked the idea of a build up to a climax that everyone knew was coming, but no one knew what form it was going to take. For interest's sake, I can tell you that this was written backwards, starting at the end and working forwards. Initially, it was like the movie "Memento" with the ending first, and then the story, but this way I think it flows better.

Defining Moments:

February - June 2003, November 2004

I had a lot of trouble putting this in, (I debated for a long time wether to actually include it at all) mainly due to the deeply personal nature of the subject matter.

(And the way it makes me sound like a bit of a girl and thus betrays my calm cool masculine exterior) but in the end I thought, "What the hey."

It doesn't take a rocket scientist to work out that it deals with my break-up from Julia and the related aftermath in early 2004. I wrote it primarily as a journal to myself initially, just to get things straight in my own head, then, it became a blog entry, which I never could quite post in good faith. Later on, (as in, this month) I re-read, fixed up, edited and added some stuff and took some artistic licence to, just so it wasn’t ALL truth and to make it less like a rant and more like a story. I think I achieved a unique mix of rant and story. I call it a stant! Or a Rory. Either or.

I read through and cringe at how at certain points I sound; bitter, twisted, needy, sappy, clingy, desperate, emotional, sappy, angry and sappy. But mostly sappy. The consistent changing in tone is probably because I wrote at it in about 12 different sittings as I was in a variety of different moods. But hey, I am comfortable enough in my self-image to let y'all read it.
I know it just says what you would feel in the same situation.
(and were too scared to say)

I am fairly certain that there isn't anything in there that can be perceived as derogatory, as you might expect from a break up. I'm not out to make enemies here. I might even show it to J before I let the rest of you read it, just to cover all my bases.

(UPDATE: She has read it and is OK with it, Read away)

Anyway, just to be SUPER sure, understand that this is an account of what I was feeling at certain moments in time, and not a reflection of what I feel now. Julia and I get on fine. I'm happy that she is happy, and I am sure that goes both ways. Though what we had was special. It's in the past and that's where it stays.

I have also changed some details, so it is not all true. I'm not going to tell you what I changed, and since its primarily interior monologue and hence, intangible, so you won't be able to tell. So there!

Do we understand?

Good.

If this is the first thing you are reading on this site. Please, I am not as bad and hopelessly romantic and loserish the whole thing makes me sound.

I'm going to stop over explaining things now, before you go in with preconceptions.

Cold

August - September 2003, October - November 2004

Despite sharing it with a Matchbox Twenty song, I had no idea what to name this, so it got named 'Cold'. Nicely school based once more, probably due to the fact that when I started writing all of these things LAST year when school was everything I had on my mind. I am not particularly happy with this one. I think it could use a lot more polish as I suspect I rushed through it and could really tighten up on some expressions and ideas.

In essence I think the IDEA is good, I just haven't dedicated enough time to fully fleshing the whole thing out. Will probably go nuts and get around to completely re-hashing the whole thing later.

:: Nick 2:26 PM [+] ::
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